Autobiography Doll

You can reach Jeff at EEFbear@yahoo.com  

Autobiography Doll by Jeff Julseth, Minneapolis

Dollmaking has always been a creative problem-solving process for me.   I was more interested in design and technique until the summer of 2003, when Barb Kobe had challenged me to create a ‘self-doll.’

I was content creating just ‘one’ autobiography doll.  I sketched the doll pattern and began the process with a melancholy mind. During the three months of deep creating, the doll mentally drained me and I felt withdrawn and destitute.  Still, I had no intentions to stop the transformation of this doll.   I realized that this doll was only a chapter of my life, and there was a need to continue an autobiographical doll series.  I discovered I begun with the ‘Winter’ doll and  I would continue with the next three seasons.  The second ‘Spring’ doll would be represent new growth and direction.

Life is full of clues.  A friend commented that I always played the same CD when I picked him up for lunch.   I had to confess, “Annie Lennox’s ‘Litte Bird’ must be my favorite song.”   The lyrics are about despair and affirmation to start anew.

  Little Bird lyrics

But my my, I feel so low
My my, where do I go?
My my, what do I know?
My my, we reap what we sow

They always said that you knew best
But this little bird's fallen out of that nest now
I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I've just got to put these wings to test

Symbols in my Winter Autobiography doll

• The body contains twig-roots and feathers sewn in the material: the foundation of a nest, cocoon.

• Earth tones:  hidden feelings underneath the surface, dirt/ fertilizer for growth

• Hidden wings under the arms:  unknown potentials, lyric references

• The absence of  feet, inability to journey,  (sequential dolls will grow feet)

• Heavy doll weight (8 lbs), lyric references being weighted to the ground

• Low brim hat: shame and inability to look at oneself, melancholy

• Profile looking to the right:  doll’s head turns to the three sequential dolls of transformation

• Antique keys (30+), the ability to gain and open up unlimited knowledge

• Door lock placed on tablet:  doll is hiding behind my fears

• Door lock:  the biggest mystery is unlocking ourselves

The back of the doll is collaged in the same manner as an altered book.  There are journaled words and images of myself, hidden from the viewer when hanging on the wall.   I have included the first lyric, “I feel so low” on the back of the Winter doll.  The remaining three lyrics will be placed on each sequential doll.   The final autobiography doll will read, “We reap what we sow” and will be represented with the fall harvest season of my transformation with wings ready to take flight.

Thank you, Barb Kobe, for inspiring me.  I hope sharing this experience will inspire others to create.